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SECRET GARDEN

Single, Married, Finding Balance

9/11/2015

1 Comment

 
At the time I accepted Jesus as my Savior, I was going through the separation/divorce process with my first husband. I prayed, cried out to God, and even got him to go to counseling, but he just wasn’t ready to be what a husband should. I repented for my part in the failure of our marriage and God started the process of healing my wounds and making me whole. My focus was on absorbing everything that I could about God’s word and what it meant for my life. My girls were old enough to be independent, so while they played or watched television, I studied. I would have books laid across my bed and different versions of the bible scattered everywhere. I was seeking understanding, revelation, and most of all wisdom. I wanted to know what God created me for. Sometimes I would pray all night. When I did sleep, I was having many dreams that would bring me revelation and instructions. These were awesome times, though I still desired to be married. It took three years for my divorce to be made final, but I knew that once it was final, I would marry again. I believe because I let God deal with my hurts and pains those three years, He sent me a husband quickly. Now, dating while saved should only bring one result; marriage. If you don’t see yourself marrying the person you are dating then it is better to cut ties before wasting too much time and getting caught up in the snares of the enemy. Our sexual desires come from God and are made for marriage. It is easy to fall in the trap of fornication when you are physically attracted to someone. This is especially true if you have been sexually active in the past. I don’t care how self controlled you are or how much you love Jesus, when the temptation comes nobody is exempt. The lust of the flesh is powerful. That’s way it is important to not put yourself in situations of compromise. You should also be accountable to someone that will pray for and with you to help keep you on track.

1 Corinthians 7:9

But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn

God would rather see us marry than fall into fornication. When we share our bodies with someone else and then separate, it does damage to our souls. He wants us to be whole. Thank God for his mercy and forgiveness that he gives us another chance through repentance. When/if we do sin we can ask him to cleanse us and he will, but we must turn from our sin and follow him. Don’t get stuck in your sin or you will get stuck in your circumstances. With that being said, marriage is a big change from being single in the Lord!

1 Corinthians 7:32-34New King James Version (NKJV)

32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

The hours of study, the all night praying and serving the Lord in every opportunity had to change when I got married. I had to now be concerned with pleasing my husband. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding since we’ve been married. The time and energy that I once dedicated to Lord has been greatly reduced. The message version explains it like this:

1 Corinthians 7:32-35The Message (MSG)

32-35 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

There are many distractions in married life. My assignments have changed but my focus is the same. How can I please the Lord in what I do? What does the bible say about being a wife and mother? The key is knowing your season, knowing your assignment, and making time to pray and get instructions from the Lord. We must have balance. The distractions will come, but we must press past them knowing that God is with us and will reward us when we diligently seek him. We can’t neglect or spouse, but we also can’t neglect God. It might look different than it did when you were single, but God will honor the time you set aside for Him. Wash the dishes and pray. Change a diaper and thank God. Cook dinner and rejoice. Put God in everything and he will surely be with you in everything that you do!

Father we thank You for the season that You have us in. Thank you for never leaving us even in times of our own foolishness. Forgive us for not always obeying your word or being content in the season that you have us. Teach us how to have balance in pleasing you and our spouse/children. We want to do everything as we are doing it unto You. Show us what that looks like according to Your word. Make us doers of Your word and not just hearers only. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

1 Comment
Leah link
9/15/2018 08:13:49 am

"Knowing your season and assignment and staying focused no matter what! " i understand! Thank you 😊

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    Bonnie Kay Rimpson

    God has truly restored me after having a torn soul from broken relationships and even a divorce. After receiving Jesus as my Savior, God took me through a process of knowing my identity and loving myself so that I may love others. Now I am happily married to a man after God's own heart, who loves me with the love of God.

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