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Being Right All Of The Time

10/7/2016

Many arguments in marriage is a matter of perspective. The way we were raised, our experiences, pain that we’ve endured, our culture, and past mistakes all play a major role in how we relate to issues and one another. If we are in Christ, it is important however, to weigh the issues by the Word of God. Not only taking scripture to prove our point, but also seeking the Holy Spirit and praying for resolution. If we are always on a mission to prove that we are right no matter the cost, then we are probably dealing with some pride issues. The Bible is our compass, but we must be careful not to manipulate the Word for our benefit or become puffed up in our own self-righteousness. We often only see the surface of the matter, but God perceives the heart. He knows that we filter through our dysfunction and can use our spouses to bring deliverance if we humble ourselves.

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.

If we are locked in to prove our point, as we place blame on our spouse we will also release shame. This will cause resistance and rebellion. If we remain humble, then we will receive and release wisdom. Humility will allow us to see and release the truth in love.

Proverbs 13:10
By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.

If we are being prideful in our stance, then we are creating strife in our homes. We have to be humble to listen and receive Godly counsel/wisdom when conflict occurs. Even if it is coming from our spouse!

Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.

When we act prideful, it strips us of honor. If we do not keep honor in our marriage and homes, it will lead to chaos and dysfunction.

Daniel 5:20
But when his heart was lifted up, and his spirit was hardened in pride, he was deposed from his kingly throne, and they took his glory from him.

Our authority gets stripped away when we operate in pride. Every home needs a natural and spiritual leader. When pride sets in our hearts, the ability to lead properly is hindered causing more issues to trickle down to other areas of our lives.

1 Timothy 3:5-7
5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

If our homes/marriages aren’t being ruled by humility, then we certainly don’t have any business over a ministry. Pride leaves us to fall prey to the snare of the devil who is anxiously awaiting our fall.

James 4:6
But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

This is one of my favorite verses. God knows that I need more grace! This is why I always pray for humility. God will resist us if we are being prideful (even if we are “technically” right). If we approach issues with humility, he will give us more than enough grace to approach the issue at hand and come to a resolution.

1 Samuel 2:3
“Talk no more so very proudly; Let no arrogance come from your mouth, For the Lord is the God of knowledge; And by Him actions are weighed.

God isn’t impressed with our self-righteous words. He judges us by our actions. We can quote scripture all day, but if our attitudes are nasty and our motive is to prove that we are right, we will be facing a stubborn brick wall.

Proverbs 28:25
He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered.

When we trust God and not our own rightness, He will prosper us even in our marriage. Our pride will only bring strife that will hinder the blessings that God wants to release over our covenant.

Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.

We have to learn to be patient. It is a fruit of the spirit that we must choose. Conflict is never easy, but if we remain humble and trust God, He will definitely work it out for our good. In the end, we will be victorious and will receive deliverance. We will gain understanding and grow stronger in our covenant with our spouse.

Habakkuk 2:4
“Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith.

If we truly believe that we are right and our motives are pure, then we must also keep a right spirit. We must live by faith knowing that God is in control and perfecting everything that concerns us!

1 Timothy 6:3-5
Error and Greed
3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings[a] of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.[b]

Sometimes it is best to remain silent. If our anger will lead us to say hurtful things that will make the situation worse, then it is best to say nothing and pray. We must ask God to show us the matter with His eyes and ask for instructions and wisdom to come to a resolution.

These principles will work with any relationship, but our marriage is our first ministry. I encourage you today, to ask God to show you any issues of pride that have been causing strife in your home and blocking your breakthrough. Being right in an argument is not as important as being right with God. God wants our marriages to be full of understanding, humility, unconditional love, forgiveness, grace, and all of the fruits of the spirit. He wants us to be in a place of reconciliation and peace. He wants our homes to be in order so that we may go advance his kingdom by making disciples!

Father, we thank You for Your grace and mercy. Forgive us for being prideful and always wanting to be right. Clothe us with humility and give us more grace to navigate the issues of our hearts and in our marriage. We don’t want to be self-righteous, but only stand upright before You. Give us a heart of understanding and compassion. Help us to speak Your truth in love and not pride. Soften our hearts to each other and help us filter our short comings through Your Word. Help us keep our homes in order so that we may effectively serve You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Live A Lover's Life

9/30/2016

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Love is at the core of all relationships. How we view people through the eyes of love is how we will treat them. While Jesus calls us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44), most of us have issues loving the people that are closest to us.

Love is a choice, not an emotional response to how somebody makes us feel. We have to choose to love just like every other fruit of the spirit that was giving to us as a gift from God (Galatians 5:22-23). It is a free will decision. Nobody can make us love, just as nobody can make us hate.

God calls our love to not only grow, but to abound (exist in large numbers or amounts; plentiful; abundant) in knowledge and discernment.

Philippians 1:9-11 (NKJV)
9 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, 10 that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, 11 being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

What does this mean? God wants us to gain understanding and learn His heart towards people. He wants us to be led by His Spirit and see people with His eyes. The NIV version says that this will make us pure and blameless. The kind of love that Jesus wants us to love with, will leave us without offense. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for us if we could achieve this in our marriages? Oh how wonderful it would be to live without offense. Well, it is attainable through God’s Word, but we must take action.
I love the way the Message version translates this verse:

Philippians 1:9-11 (MSG)
9-11 So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

Wow! God wants quality not quantity. We have to LEARN to love appropriately! How do we do that? We do that by studying Jesus. We have to take on the mind of Christ even when dealing with our emotions and feelings. We need to get out of our own heads and feelings. We have to stop letting the devil wreak havoc by playing with our emotions. Love needs to be sincere (free from deceit; genuine) and intelligent (perceptive).

When Jesus looks at our relationships, Can He be proud of our love? Are our souls producing the fruit that He gave us full access to abound in? Are we choosing to love? Are we pure and blameless in our deeds and motives? Are we seeking things with understanding and intelligence?

It is normal for certain things to trigger our feelings some sort of way. The devil is always waiting for the opportunity to have us snap. When a situation occurs, we have the power to resist the urge to fall prey as a victim to the devil’s schemes. We can submit to God and His fruit, resist the devil, and he must flee. We can seek understanding for the circumstance and ask God to show us how to love; even through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

God is love and we are known by our love. Our love is what makes us attractive and draws people to us, and ultimately closer to Christ! So let our love abound today. Not just in quantity, but in quality. Let’s choose to put our love into action and defeat the plans of the enemy to divide and concur. There is unity in God’s perfect love!

Father, we thank You for Your perfect love. Thank You for giving us love as a perfect gift. Forgive us for not always choosing to love. Help us perfect our ability not only to love our spouse, children and those close to us, but also our enemies. Help us separate love from our feelings. Let our emotions and thoughts be bound to those of Christ helping us love appropriately. We want to draw people to You by our display of love. We want You to be proud of our love. Heal every broken place that has caused us to respond in a way that opposes Your definition of Love. Deliver us from any pain, hurt, offense, and trauma that has caused us to choose hate instead of love. Let the quality of our love be blameless and pure in every area of our lives. We especially submit our marriage relationship to You today and show us where our love has been breached and perverted by the enemy. Give us understanding and discernment to perceive the hearts of our spouse and see them with Your eyes. Let our hearts be renewed. Let our new abounding love attract our spouse in a fresh new way so that You will get the glory. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Redefined, But Not Redesigned

9/23/2016

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Marriage is a beautiful reflection of God’s relationship with us. Marriage teaches (and challenges) us many things including patience, endurance, mercy, forgiveness, selflessness, gentleness, communication, teamwork, unconditional love, and I think you get the idea. Every situation that we face together is for our growth and maturity into the purposes of God. It is not just for us though. People are always watching and waiting to see how we respond to the things that we go through. The more years we put in, the more people will look to us for advice and counseling.

Hosea 2:19-20
19 “I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
20 I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
And you shall know the Lord.

As Christians, we are not perfect, but are being made perfect into the likeness of our Savior Jesus Christ. In all of our weaknesses, He will come in and show Himself strong if we allow Him to. Our trials and tribulations fuel our testimony with victory as we stand on God’s Word with trust and faith. We should be working towards a standard of marriage that is measured by God’s Word. Everything else will disappoint us with wrong decisions and confused emotions. Wise counsel always comes from the Word.

Philippians 3:12
[ Pressing Toward the Goal] Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Our biggest spectators are our children. Our children learn how to have relationships based on how they see us react to one another. Unfortunately, they see all. They see the good, the bad, and the ugly. They see the unmasked truth that uncovers itself when out of the public eye. Are we being consistent in our behavior? Do we act one way with each other in church, then completely change in the comfort of our own homes? If we are hypocrites, they will surely rebel against any advice about relationships, even if we are giving them the truth! It’s okay for them to see our vulnerability, but they must also see the resolution. When they see us make things right through repentance, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, this will help them understand that relationships take work and intentional understanding/compassion towards another person.

Matthew 7:3-5
3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

The sad part is, that many children don’t have any model to gleen from. The devil has surely done his part at destroying the honor and respect that was once placed on marriage. Homes have been destroyed by sin, and divorce has become an easy fix instead of a last resort. Marriage has become so unattractive that many choose to just cohabitate and have children, instead of committing to a covenant that would be legally harder to get out of. I was one who thought like this before I got saved. I dated my first husband on and off for 7 years before we got married. Our first daughter was already 2-years-old. Even then I had reservations (rightly so) about making a commitment. Our relationship was toxic and marriage didn’t fix anything. Marriage only works if two people come together knowing that they are already complete. A spouse can’t complete you. Only Jesus can! Unfortunately, my two oldest girls have witnessed many dysfunctional relationship responses and have also been subject to our divorce and living without their father. The good news is, that they have also witnessed my healing and deliverance through Jesus and have seen how God restores and makes things new! It might seem like the enemy has won the war on marriage. It has been “redefined” by law, but it can never be redesigned! Man cannot re-create something that God has already established. It is not too late to overturn the world’s perspective. It starts with our example. It gets passed on to our children and those who we touch.

Colossians 2:6-10
6 As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, 7 rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.
8 Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. 9 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

Take time to reflect on your marriage. How is it honoring God? What are some things that can be improved? How do those who see you perceive you? How do your children see you? Make note of all these things and give them to God. Let Him search your heart and give you wisdom on how to improve your marriage and strengthen the next generation.

Father, we thank You for completing us and making us whole. Forgive us for not always being an example of Your love and reflecting Your image. Show us places that we act like hypocrites. Deal with our hearts and give us greater compassion to deal with every situation with love. Help us be pillars in our sphere of influence that glorifies Godly covenant. We want to turn the world upside down with an army of marriages that bring respect and honor back to marriage as You have designed it. Let our children be witness to the truth of Your Word and form their identities around that truth. We rebuke the devil who would make things appear hopeless and loose the hope that comes from the testimony of Jesus. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Deeper Intimacy

9/16/2016

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Marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us. The Bible illustrates this and calls us His bride. Jesus is our bridegroom. While Jesus should always be first priority in our lives, our marriages must come in second. There is a natural desire for us to seek more of Jesus. We should hunger and thirst for Him in every situation. As we seek deeper intimacy with God, we should also be seeking deeper intimacy with our spouse. If we forsake our marriages because of our pursuit of God than we will run into trouble in our homes. This is why it is so important to be equally yoked. As we become more intimate with Jesus, the more Christ-like we should become. We should be displaying a kind gentle spirit that should draw our spouse closer to us. If we do not include our spouse in our journey to knowing more of God, than eventually it could lead to a self-righteous attitude that will be condescending and arrogant towards our spouse. If we think that we know more than them, then we won’t value their input and start discluding them from decisions. A haughty spirit always leads to destruction!

As we learn more about Christ we should also study our spouse. People are always growing and changing. Day to day circumstances can put a toll on our attitudes and disposition. Do we really know what is going on? As we seek our spouse, we must listen and pray. This brings communication to a new level. By including God, we create a 3-fold cord that is not easily broken. We must also be honest and open on the issues that we our facing as well. As long as everything stays out in the open, the enemy has no dark place to torment us with.

Psalm 63:1-8(NKJV)
Joy in the Fellowship of God
A Psalm of David when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
63 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
6 When I remember You on my bed,I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.

God wants us to experience this type of joy with our spouse as well. We should be seeking, thirsting, and longing for more of them. When we are in a dry season in our marriage, the God in us should show His power and glory in our homes. We should be rich in the goodness of our love for one another and continue to bless and praise each other with joyful lips. Our marriage bed should be honorable and made exclusively for our spouse. We should be helping each other in times of need and be able to rejoice in the safety that we bring to each other. Our souls should be following closely to each other that we can help each other up when we fall.

We have to chase after our spouse as we chase after God. They are a gift that God has given us, and part of the plan/purpose for our lives. Never stop learning them. Never stop seeking understanding. Never stop communicating. Never stop praying. Let our marriages represent in the natural what are relationship with God is in the Spirit!

Father, we thank You for the blueprint of marriage that You have given us in Your Word. Forgive us for going hard after You, while leaving our spouse behind. Help us take on Your character as we grow closer to You. Help us always be kind and gentle. Deliver us from any pride our self-righteousness that would make our spouse reject us. We want our marriage to be like the 3-fold cord that is not easily broken. We want to grow in intimacy with our spouse. Give us a hunger and thirst for them just as we hunger and thirst for You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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God Will Show Them

9/9/2016

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Bringing 2 people together in marriage is a miracle. It is hard to live with another person and mesh your values, beliefs, dreams, purpose, work, and desires together. This is why it is so important to take marriage seriously and know that you are equally yoked and called by God to be together. God has a way of bringing the 2 most unlikely people together and creating unity and love that can only come from Him. When we pick our own mate without God’s help, it can lead to a long road of striving and battling to make it work. But even then, if you surrender the relationship to God, there is nothing too hard for Him to achieve.

Many times in marriage, one person might have a dream, vision, or assignment given to them by God that might seem impossible or undesirable. Sometimes we might think that our spouse won’t agree with it, or that they might think it is crazy or too risky. We might be afraid of their response or rejection of the plan.

God doesn’t make mistakes. Everything has a purpose and is for a purpose. If He is calling You to something, then He will soften the heart of your spouse to understand it. God will reveal His plans to your spouse because you are one flesh. He will have them come into agreement and be your help to support, protect, and advance you in what you are supposed to do.

Mary experienced this first hand. I can’t imagine how afraid she was to tell Joseph of her conversation with the angel and the conception of Jesus. Mary was favored by God and she was obedient. She and Joseph were called to be together. Even in the most troubling circumstances, God called Joseph to come into agreement with God’s plan for Mary.

We can’t let marriage come between us and our purpose from God. We can’t be afraid to share what God has revealed to us with our spouse. When God is the source, He will always work it out and together for His good.

What has God revealed to you that you are afraid to share with your spouse? Is your fear of what they think keeping you from obeying God? I encourage you today to pray. Confirm the plans of God for your life. Take a step of faith and share them with your spouse. You are favored by God and He has already established your victory!

Luke 1:26-33New King James Version (NKJV)
Christ’s Birth Announced to Mary
26 Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”[a]
29 But when she saw him,[b] she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. 30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. 32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. 33 And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”

Father, we thank You that You favor us. We thank you that we each have an individual purpose designed specifically for us. Forgive us for allowing fear to keep us from being obedient. Deliver us from the fear of man’s opinions. Deliver us from the fear of rejection. Deliver us from the fear of failure. Bring us in alignment with Your plans for us. Tenderize us towards our spouse, and us to them, that we may see and recognize the plans of God in their life. We want to fulfill what You have called us to do. Let Your promises be established in our lives. We declare victory. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Young Marriage Trailblazers

9/2/2016

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Marriage has become an undesirable institution in our society. With divorce rates high and multiple sexual partners no longer taboo, it’s no wonder why young people would shy away from committing their lives to another. Society makes sin/infidelity so ready available with social media and internet porn right at our fingertips. It’s there even when we aren’t searching it out with provocative ads and friend requests from high school flames. The young generation has watched their parents’ divorce or never marry. Even the ones that do grow up in two parent households, are urged to wait for marriage and start a career first.

It’s amazing how quickly the culture can change. I remember my mother thinking that something was wrong with me because I wasn’t married yet in my early twenties. Her generation got married straight out of high school. She married my father at 19 and stayed married until her death 52 years later.

Society has pushed education and career to the forefront and in higher priority than God and family. This is where the enemy has had an opportunity to come in and pervert the foundation of morals and beliefs.

People get so educated that their intellectualism gets in the way of faith. They become too logical to believe what seems as “foolishness” in the Bible. They want to find their own way and prove that they are “somebody”.

1 Corinthians 1:18-25
Christ the Power and Wisdom of God
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.”[a]
20 Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? 21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. 22 For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks[b] foolishness, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

The faster we get the revelation that we, as a nation, can do nothing without God, the better.

Although young people have been waiting to get married, most of them aren’t waiting to have sex. We were created as sexual beings. God created sex for marriage to enjoy and to multiply. The longer that we wait to get married, the greater the temptation to fornicate. No one is exempt. My husband and I both love God and had both committed to celibacy years before we met. After both living a lifestyle of sin for many years before our commitment to God, we were successful from abstaining from sex. When we starting growing closer to one another and spending more time together, it became harder to resist our flesh. By the grace of God, we made it until after marriage, but in our own strength we would have never made it. So young people are going away to college, getting indoctrinated into intellectualism and swayed from their beliefs. They come home and want to wait to get married until they have their career established and are financially stable. This sounds very good on paper, but the problem is that we never achieve a place of arrival. We are always wanting to do more. At what point do we stop and say “I’m ready to settle down”? It’s nice to have it all together, but what about building something together?

I’m not against education or waiting for God to get married at the right timing and with the right person. I just feel our culture has twisted our privilege to work against us and make us rely on self, more than God. Our bodies hit puberty at a young age. In Bible times, people got married extremely young, probably more comparable to the time of hormonal changes. While our culture has changed, the human body hasn’t. This is why teenagers find themselves caught up in situations that can threaten their virginity. Unmarried sex causes soul ties, hurt, low self-esteem, and so many other things that can be devastating to their bodies, souls, and spirits. We have to take our culture back and make “waiting” the norm. God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman for the rest of their lives. We must bring back God’s statutes and family values if we want to strengthen our nation. We need husbands/fathers to take their rightful place. We need wives/mothers to let their spouses lead.

I believe God is restoring marriage in this hour. I have witnessed many young people getting married and setting an example for their generation. These are young people that love God, are intelligent, and are still pursuing education and working towards career goals. They are building their foundation together. This might seem like a small insignificant occurrence, but I believe they are trailblazers for their generation to restore the foundation of family and Kingdom values to our culture. Their decision might seem foolish to many, but God says that they are wise. They are putting to shame the lies of world spoken against marriage and family.

1 Corinthians 1:27
27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;

Father, we thank You that You give us wisdom and strength. Thank You for Your Word that gives us instructions and encouragement in trying times. Forgive us for conforming with the culture of the world instead of transforming the world’s culture with Your Word. Thank You for the trailblazers that are changing the standard of what is acceptable for marriage to align with your Word. Help us all to pioneer change by using our marriages to glorify Your Kingdom. Restore honor to marriage. Restore Biblical principles and Kingdom values to our homes. We want to transform the nation by being who You have created us to be. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Embracing Change

8/19/2016

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Since August is the month of new beginnings, I thought now would be a good time to evaluate marriage and what new things are affecting it. Change is inevitable. If we aren’t growing, we are dying. We should be both growing individually, and collectively as husband and wife. The person we are and the person we married could possibly be very different than when we first exchanged vows. This is why it is so important to stay connected and communicating. If we don’t, we might find ourselves married to a stranger.

Our core values should remain the same, this is why it is important to be equally yoked.

2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

As long as we are both laying the foundation of our covenant on the light and righteousness of Jesus Christ, then any change should be making us more Christ-like. Every circumstance can be used to grow, mature, produce patience, strengthen and bring us closer together.

Romans 5:3-4
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

Many circumstances can be challenging. The devil is waiting for our response. If we are not careful in maintaining our marriage, the enemy will come in and try to divide us.

Mark 3:25
And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

Once we are divided, he can knock us down. So the key to standing strong is making sure that we stay in unity. When there is disagreement, we must quickly come to a resolution that will keep peace for both involved.

Many arguments are challenged by the words “You’ve changed”. I guarantee that this does not happen overnight. Any change that occurs is brought on by a seed that has been planted, watered, and nourished. Change is good, as long as what is growing is beneficial for advancement of your purpose. It is crucial to include your spouse in this process, or they will feel left behind, confused, and rejected. They won’t be able to see the big picture if you don’t share the process with them.

So let’s take time to evaluate the fruit that our marriage is producing in this season of change.

Matthew 12:33
Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.

If our change is bringing good fruit, then it is coming from a good place. If it is bringing bad fruit or no fruit, then we must get rid of it.

Matthew 3:10
And even now the ax is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore every tree which does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Luke 13:9
And if it bears fruit, well. But if not, after that you can cut it down.’”

We don’t want to waste time producing something that is counterproductive to our marriage and purpose. If we don’t take time to evaluate our growth and production, we might find ourselves in a strange place not realizing how we got there or what to do next.

We must embrace the blessing of change. God created seasons and times to guide us and grow us. There is a time for everything. Stay connected with your spouse so that you understand the time/season they are in and how it coincides with where God has you at that moment. In the end it will come to a beautiful display of good fruit and harvest. God makes everything beautiful in HIS TIME!

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

Father we thank You for change that means we are growing and living. Forgive us for resisting change and even resenting change in our spouse. Show us how to know when to shift by your Spirit. Keep us connected to the season of our spouse so that we can see the big picture and endure even the hard times. We want to be good trees that produce good fruit. Show us where we need to take the ax and cut roots of bad fruit. We want to be in unity with You and our spouse that You may make us beautiful in Your timing. Without You we can’t successfully achieve our purpose. We need You in everything that we do. Grow us. Mature us. Transform us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Does God Want Your Gift?

8/12/2016

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The beauty of being saved by Jesus Christ is that He loved us despite of our sin and offered us forgiveness that we didn’t deserve. He restored us into proper relationship with our Father so that we could start off new.

2 Corinthians 5:17-19
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

This is a beautiful gift! He has given us the ministry of reconciliation. So we are restored and have the assignment of ministering reconciliation to others.

Matthew 6:15
15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

God takes forgiveness very seriously. He has forgiven us. We must extend the same grace and mercy towards others. When we refuse to forgive, it hinders our growth, prayers, and blessings. It blocks our own forgiveness (which we need daily)! We are called to be compassionate and understanding. We have to be led by the spirit and see things how Jesus would see them. Once we see, we must then do what Jesus would do.

1 Peter 3:7
A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

When we are married. We are heirs together. One person’s unforgiveness can block the prayers of the other. We are one flesh and must resolve issues as quickly as possible to avoid unnecessary obstacles. God calls us to dwell together with understanding. This takes humility, communication, and forgiveness.

Matthew 5:23-24
23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

I’m sure we have all heard the saying that “marriage is your first ministry” or “ministry starts at home”. Well, most of the time it is those that we are closest to that we keep offenses with. God doesn’t even want to accept our offering at the alter until we make things right. How many times have we left our homes in a broken state to go to church? God hears our cries, but He can’t move on our behalf until we move towards reconciliation. Once we expose the offense, reveal the hurt, and offer forgiveness, then God will move in response to our prayers and begin to restore the relationship. Ignoring the conflict is not an option. It will only grow to an enormous mountain that will stand in between you and your spouse. This is why people separate over petty issues. They can’t see past the mountain of offense that unforgiveness has created.

Thank God that He has given us the power to move mountains. I encourage you today to look at the mountain in your marriage. Evaluate what offense created it to grow, and address the issue. Reveal your hurt. Forgive. Pray and watch God do what seems to be impossible!

Father, we thank You for the ministry of reconciliation. Forgive us for not offering the same forgiveness that You have given us. We want our prayers to be answered. We want our offering to be received by You. Help us resolve conflict quickly and not let the enemy to turn offense into a mountain. Help us dwell with our spouse with understanding. Give us compassion. Help us extend grace and mercy towards others. Let our marriage be a ministry that gives Your name glory. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Is Your Container Clean?

8/5/2016

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Yesterday, after a hard day of work, my husband came home and sanitized the big garbage can and recycle bin that is kept in our garage until garbage day. I had been complaining about the smell since we moved in. It smelled like the last owners put stuff in there without using garbage bags. The smell has been magnified through my pregnant nose and makes me gag. The summer heat has made the smell worse and last week we had a legion of flies in our garage. I didn’t want to open the door from the house to the garage because I didn’t want flies to get into the house. We started going out the front door. So my husband took them outside, hosed them down, scrubbed, bleached, and fabreezed them!

I’m not silly. I understand the garbage stays in there for a week and won’t always smell good, but every once in a while, we must examine and evaluate the container that holds our trash until it is time to transfer it to the next source……

This made me think about marriage, outward appearances, burdens, and deliverance.

Matthew 23:25-26
25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence.[a] 26 Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.

There are so many marriages in a hypocritical state. I’ve seen many marriages, even in the church, suffer from unresolved conflict and uncleanliness/self-indulgence leading to divorce. I am always shocked. Most of the time there is no outward appearance of conflict. They seem happy and full of love, then one day a swarm of flies are hovering all over them. The outside of their cup/garbage can/marriage (that everyone sees) was clean, but they didn’t take time to clean the inside (they part that can impact their lives).

When we have issues, it is important to resolve them as quickly as possible. The longer we stew over them (keep them as burdens), the stronger the stink will become. If we completely ignore them, eventually the flies will be attracted to the garbage causing added distraction, irritation, and nuisance. We must daily evaluate ourselves against the Word of God. We must address our spouse about any issues in them that are causing conflict in our homes, and then ultimately clean ourselves from the trash, place it to the curb (the feet of Jesus) and let it be taken away by Him (deliverance). It is not enough to give him our garbage. We must let Him clean us from the inside out or eventually a residue will build up and cause unsuspecting issues. The Bible says that we are washed by the water of His Word and the blood of Jesus. Staying in God’s Word along with staying in tune with the Holy Spirit will help us stay clean.

The flies of nuisance (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) only come and cause more problems if you open up the garbage can for them to smell the stink. Wise counsel in tough situations is good, but we shouldn’t be sharing all of the personal irritations of our spouse with everybody. We must take them to Jesus first and try to resolve them with our spouse! If that doesn’t work, then seek counsel from a trusted person that will give us sound biblical advice. Don’t complain to everybody, that will only lead to destruction and feed our issues with bitterness.

Where have you been keeping your trash? Have you been consistently placing it on the curb? Have you cleansed the container it was in? Take time to evaluate these things and pray for your marriage. God wants to clean it from the inside out.

Father, we thank You for Your Word that washes us. Thank You for the blood of Jesus and Your love that covers a multitude of sin. Forgive us for being hypocrites and keeping a good appearance without maintaining and cleansing the inside. We want our marriage to be a covenant free from burdens, annoyances, and unresolved conflict. Show us how to handle all situations according to your Word. Let the Holy Spirit lead us into truth. Show us ourselves and convict us of areas that need to be dealt with. We want our marriage to release the fragrance of Your beauty, not one that will attract a legion of flies. Help us be examples to the world of how Your covenant brings glory and abundance. We bless You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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Being Selfless

7/29/2016

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Marriage and children are a sure fire way to expose how selfish we once were. Once officially joined to another human being, there is no more room for “mine”. Sometimes there is a long process of deliverance that needs to take place before truly understanding the meaning of one flesh. I’m not implying that we have to give up our individual identities. We all have a special purpose and blueprint ordained by God. Our identities deal more with our spirit. Our desire for “mine” deals more with our soul.

Genesis 2:22-24
22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

To have a successful marriage we must be selfless. We have joined together as one and everything that we do sets a tone in our home. Many times marriages suffer because of the desire of wanting “me time”. This is important sometimes for sanity’s sake, but we have to plan this carefully with our spouse and consider their needs as well. Everyone needs to detox sometimes. It is important that we don’t place our role in our homes as more significant than the other.

In my home, my husband is the bread winner. He works extremely long hours. He often works overtime including his days off. His work ethic is honorable and praiseworthy. I understand his desire for a “break”. Well, if he is at work that often, guess who cooks, cleans, and manages the house? Did I mention that I also have 2 teenagers, 3 toddlers, and one about 6 months in process? Trust me, he understands my desire for a break as well. I am very blessed that he places high honor for my role at home and understands that it’s just as hard, although different, from his.

Needless to say, he doesn’t just go and plan a golf outing the minute that he gets some free time. I don’t just run out the house to get away from it all the minute he walks through the door. These events are well planned and considerately thought out. My husband even calls me when he unexpectedly gets stuck at work or asks if I mind if he stays late. Having said all of that reminds me that it is also much needed to carve out “couple time” to reconnect and stay in unity.

The trials of the day can have us both screaming “Calgon take me away”, lol. The truth of the matter is, that no amount of “me time” will take away our responsibilities and frustrations. The only time that can fix our issues is time spent with Jesus!

Matthew 11:29-30
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

When we connect ourselves to Jesus, our souls find rest. All that fleshy frustration dissipates, our anxieties disappear, and our attitudes change. Once we’ve done that, then we can make plans for our girl’s night out or sports outing with the guys. Fellowship and laughter are good for us.

Proverbs 17:22
22 A merry heart does good, like medicine,[a]
But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 27:9
9 Ointment and perfume delight the heart,
And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.

Being around our friends keeps our bones from rotting. Pampering ourselves delights our heart. We don’t want to be so consumed with life that we forsake these times. There is a time for everything, but in everything we must be strategic. There might be seasons where there seems to be no break (I’m in one right now), but we can’t let are attitudes take on bitterness and selfishness thinking about what we might be missing. The kids only stay little for a short season and then they are gone. We must learn to enjoy every season of our lives. We have to be selfless to our God given assignments and stop complaining about what we can’t have or do.

I want to encourage you today that you are in the season that God ordained for you. You too will soon get a time for rest, a time to be pampered, and a time to fulfill your desires. Just remember that You are not your own anyway. You belong to Jesus. You also belong to your spouse, but if you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). A time for fulfilment is coming. A time for abundance is coming. Everything that you endure now is preparing your character to handle your next. The journey is ongoing and Jesus the ultimate example of selflessness is with you!

Father, we thank You that You have given us Jesus as a selfless act of love. Forgive us for not always reflecting this in our lives. Help us be more considerate, patient, and enduring. Give us strategy on how to carve out time for all the things that we need to function properly. Help us be thankful and satisfied in every season. Help us to honor the role of our spouse and consider all things when planning to “get away”. We take on Your yoke and find rest for our souls. We give You our frustrations and anxieties. We want to be selfless. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!

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SECRET GARDEN

Being Right All Of The Time

Live A Lover's Life

Redefined, But Not Redesigned

Deeper Intimacy

God Will Show Them

Young Marriage Trailblazers

Embracing Change

Does God Want Your Gift?

Is Your Container Clean?

Being Selfless

Bonnie Kay Rimpson

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Bonnie Kay Rimpson

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