Many arguments in marriage is a matter of perspective. The way we were raised, our experiences, pain that we’ve endured, our culture, and past mistakes all play a major role in how we relate to issues and one another. If we are in Christ, it is important however, to weigh the issues by the Word of God. Not only taking scripture to prove our point, but also seeking the Holy Spirit and praying for resolution. If we are always on a mission to prove that we are right no matter the cost, then we are probably dealing with some pride issues. The Bible is our compass, but we must be careful not to manipulate the Word for our benefit or become puffed up in our own self-righteousness. We often only see the surface of the matter, but God perceives the heart. He knows that we filter through our dysfunction and can use our spouses to bring deliverance if we humble ourselves.
Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.
If we are locked in to prove our point, as we place blame on our spouse we will also release shame. This will cause resistance and rebellion. If we remain humble, then we will receive and release wisdom. Humility will allow us to see and release the truth in love.
Proverbs 13:10
By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.
If we are being prideful in our stance, then we are creating strife in our homes. We have to be humble to listen and receive Godly counsel/wisdom when conflict occurs. Even if it is coming from our spouse!
Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
When we act prideful, it strips us of honor. If we do not keep honor in our marriage and homes, it will lead to chaos and dysfunction.
Daniel 5:20
But when his heart was lifted up, and his spirit was hardened in pride, he was deposed from his kingly throne, and they took his glory from him.
Our authority gets stripped away when we operate in pride. Every home needs a natural and spiritual leader. When pride sets in our hearts, the ability to lead properly is hindered causing more issues to trickle down to other areas of our lives.
1 Timothy 3:5-7
5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
If our homes/marriages aren’t being ruled by humility, then we certainly don’t have any business over a ministry. Pride leaves us to fall prey to the snare of the devil who is anxiously awaiting our fall.
James 4:6
But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
This is one of my favorite verses. God knows that I need more grace! This is why I always pray for humility. God will resist us if we are being prideful (even if we are “technically” right). If we approach issues with humility, he will give us more than enough grace to approach the issue at hand and come to a resolution.
1 Samuel 2:3
“Talk no more so very proudly; Let no arrogance come from your mouth, For the Lord is the God of knowledge; And by Him actions are weighed.
God isn’t impressed with our self-righteous words. He judges us by our actions. We can quote scripture all day, but if our attitudes are nasty and our motive is to prove that we are right, we will be facing a stubborn brick wall.
Proverbs 28:25
He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered.
When we trust God and not our own rightness, He will prosper us even in our marriage. Our pride will only bring strife that will hinder the blessings that God wants to release over our covenant.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
We have to learn to be patient. It is a fruit of the spirit that we must choose. Conflict is never easy, but if we remain humble and trust God, He will definitely work it out for our good. In the end, we will be victorious and will receive deliverance. We will gain understanding and grow stronger in our covenant with our spouse.
Habakkuk 2:4
“Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith.
If we truly believe that we are right and our motives are pure, then we must also keep a right spirit. We must live by faith knowing that God is in control and perfecting everything that concerns us!
1 Timothy 6:3-5
Error and Greed
3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings[a] of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.[b]
Sometimes it is best to remain silent. If our anger will lead us to say hurtful things that will make the situation worse, then it is best to say nothing and pray. We must ask God to show us the matter with His eyes and ask for instructions and wisdom to come to a resolution.
These principles will work with any relationship, but our marriage is our first ministry. I encourage you today, to ask God to show you any issues of pride that have been causing strife in your home and blocking your breakthrough. Being right in an argument is not as important as being right with God. God wants our marriages to be full of understanding, humility, unconditional love, forgiveness, grace, and all of the fruits of the spirit. He wants us to be in a place of reconciliation and peace. He wants our homes to be in order so that we may go advance his kingdom by making disciples!
Father, we thank You for Your grace and mercy. Forgive us for being prideful and always wanting to be right. Clothe us with humility and give us more grace to navigate the issues of our hearts and in our marriage. We don’t want to be self-righteous, but only stand upright before You. Give us a heart of understanding and compassion. Help us to speak Your truth in love and not pride. Soften our hearts to each other and help us filter our short comings through Your Word. Help us keep our homes in order so that we may effectively serve You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.
If we are locked in to prove our point, as we place blame on our spouse we will also release shame. This will cause resistance and rebellion. If we remain humble, then we will receive and release wisdom. Humility will allow us to see and release the truth in love.
Proverbs 13:10
By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.
If we are being prideful in our stance, then we are creating strife in our homes. We have to be humble to listen and receive Godly counsel/wisdom when conflict occurs. Even if it is coming from our spouse!
Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.
When we act prideful, it strips us of honor. If we do not keep honor in our marriage and homes, it will lead to chaos and dysfunction.
Daniel 5:20
But when his heart was lifted up, and his spirit was hardened in pride, he was deposed from his kingly throne, and they took his glory from him.
Our authority gets stripped away when we operate in pride. Every home needs a natural and spiritual leader. When pride sets in our hearts, the ability to lead properly is hindered causing more issues to trickle down to other areas of our lives.
1 Timothy 3:5-7
5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
If our homes/marriages aren’t being ruled by humility, then we certainly don’t have any business over a ministry. Pride leaves us to fall prey to the snare of the devil who is anxiously awaiting our fall.
James 4:6
But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
This is one of my favorite verses. God knows that I need more grace! This is why I always pray for humility. God will resist us if we are being prideful (even if we are “technically” right). If we approach issues with humility, he will give us more than enough grace to approach the issue at hand and come to a resolution.
1 Samuel 2:3
“Talk no more so very proudly; Let no arrogance come from your mouth, For the Lord is the God of knowledge; And by Him actions are weighed.
God isn’t impressed with our self-righteous words. He judges us by our actions. We can quote scripture all day, but if our attitudes are nasty and our motive is to prove that we are right, we will be facing a stubborn brick wall.
Proverbs 28:25
He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered.
When we trust God and not our own rightness, He will prosper us even in our marriage. Our pride will only bring strife that will hinder the blessings that God wants to release over our covenant.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a thing is better than its beginning; The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
We have to learn to be patient. It is a fruit of the spirit that we must choose. Conflict is never easy, but if we remain humble and trust God, He will definitely work it out for our good. In the end, we will be victorious and will receive deliverance. We will gain understanding and grow stronger in our covenant with our spouse.
Habakkuk 2:4
“Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith.
If we truly believe that we are right and our motives are pure, then we must also keep a right spirit. We must live by faith knowing that God is in control and perfecting everything that concerns us!
1 Timothy 6:3-5
Error and Greed
3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings[a] of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.[b]
Sometimes it is best to remain silent. If our anger will lead us to say hurtful things that will make the situation worse, then it is best to say nothing and pray. We must ask God to show us the matter with His eyes and ask for instructions and wisdom to come to a resolution.
These principles will work with any relationship, but our marriage is our first ministry. I encourage you today, to ask God to show you any issues of pride that have been causing strife in your home and blocking your breakthrough. Being right in an argument is not as important as being right with God. God wants our marriages to be full of understanding, humility, unconditional love, forgiveness, grace, and all of the fruits of the spirit. He wants us to be in a place of reconciliation and peace. He wants our homes to be in order so that we may go advance his kingdom by making disciples!
Father, we thank You for Your grace and mercy. Forgive us for being prideful and always wanting to be right. Clothe us with humility and give us more grace to navigate the issues of our hearts and in our marriage. We don’t want to be self-righteous, but only stand upright before You. Give us a heart of understanding and compassion. Help us to speak Your truth in love and not pride. Soften our hearts to each other and help us filter our short comings through Your Word. Help us keep our homes in order so that we may effectively serve You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
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