I never thought that it would be true, but I ended up marrying someone that reminds me of my dad. It’s funny because my dad and I didn’t get along until I was an adult and if you were judging by appearances or background, you wouldn’t think it possible. Not everything is similar, but just enough to remind me of him now and then. Sometimes my husband will say something corky and I’ll tell him “okay Robert”. His love for gadgets, riddles and desire for doing things just right are top similar characteristics. My dad was by no means perfect but he was my daddy and it blesses me to be reminded of him now and again. Having said all of this, these aren’t, the qualities that drew me to my husband, to be honest I wasn’t considering any of those things to be on my list of husband material. The things that led me to my husband were the things that most looked like my Father God. Outside of God, I wouldn’t have been able to choose wisely. I had a distorted view of men and their roles in the household due from my upbringing and experiences. Before knowing Jesus, I had low self esteem, low self worth, and lack of true identity. I was broken, hurt, and lost. I needed to let God show me who I am and make me whole in order to realize that I deserved a husband that would treat me just as God treats me and love me how He loves me. Too many times we get stuck in cycles of relationships that aren’t good for us because we want them to fill a void that we don’t understand that we have. Jesus is the only one that can fill that void. Once we let him in, we have to let Him complete a process in us to make us whole and deliver us from our own cycles of abuse, neglect, and bad decision making. God is constantly perfecting us. We go from faith to faith and glory to glory. When we rest in Him, we are constantly growing and learning. He gives us wisdom knowledge, understanding, and discernment to move forward in our purpose. We are not perfect even though He is perfecting us. We make mistakes and grow in maturity in our response. We use our mistakes as a tool to grow into the next level. The point is if we make relationships based on our brokenness then we will have broken relationships. If we base our relationships on our identity in Christ which is wholeness then our relationships will be whole. Our marriages should reflect the marriage between Christ and the church. There is no greater love than that! When we truly know the love of God then we won’t be satisfied with the distorted image of love based on our past and limitations of our natural father. There is nothing more appealing to me than listening to my husband pray. Watching him serve God is attractive. I know if his heart is towards God then his heart will also be towards me. It is never too late to get it right. If you are struggling in your marriage begin to pray. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and make you whole. Ask Him to show you your identity. Ask Him to show you all of your hurt and broken pieces and ask Him to deliver you. Ask Him to show you the same for your spouse. We were all created in the image of God and have a purpose. Start focusing on you and your spouse’s purpose. Speak to that purpose. Notice what is Christ like and build from there. Pray continuously. Seek wise counsel and do and say things with gentleness, love and kindness. There is nothing impossible with God.
Ephesians 5:24-33 (NKJV)
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[a] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Father we thank You that You are a good Father. We thank You that You alone have given us a model of how our marriages are to succeed. Forgive us for basing our marital desires on our own experiences with the world and selfish desires. Help us to know our purpose and the purpose of our spouse. Give us wisdom to know how to pray and navigate through our marriage according to Your word. Help our marriage give You glory and let our testimony be that Jesus is Lord over our marriage. Make us whole and deliver us from false ideas, wrong motives, perversion, and bitterness. Help us be forgiving just as we have been forgiven by You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
Ephesians 5:24-33 (NKJV)
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[a] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Father we thank You that You are a good Father. We thank You that You alone have given us a model of how our marriages are to succeed. Forgive us for basing our marital desires on our own experiences with the world and selfish desires. Help us to know our purpose and the purpose of our spouse. Give us wisdom to know how to pray and navigate through our marriage according to Your word. Help our marriage give You glory and let our testimony be that Jesus is Lord over our marriage. Make us whole and deliver us from false ideas, wrong motives, perversion, and bitterness. Help us be forgiving just as we have been forgiven by You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
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