I was in the store shopping for my Thanksgiving Turkey with all of my children. There was a crowd around the turkey freezer because there was a really good sale. The lady standing next to me began to engage me in conversation and ask about my children. She had several children herself, but was grieved by her youngest son. She told me “whatever you do, do not do too much for any of your children. Don’t make excuses for them. Let them do things on their own.” She told me that her son was the “baby” and she spoiled him and protected him. She made excuses for him and always bailed him out of trouble. He was now grown, in his 30’s and still living at home being unproductive. She wants him to leave, but understands that he is living his life according to the pattern that she set. Mommy takes care of everything, so I don’t have to do anything! Although we all have been guilty, starting with Adam and Eve and the reasons why they ate the apple (Genesis 3:11-13), in Christ, we should not fall into the pattern of excuses. We shouldn’t make excuses for ourselves or our children.
John 15:22 (NKJV)
22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.
Have you ever heard the saying “When you know better, you do better” or “You are responsible for what you know”? That’s what this scripture is saying. When Christ dwells in us, we should be actively searching His Word and applying it to our lives. Ignorance isn’t bliss, nor gives us a free pass to sin.
Romans 1:20 (NKJV)
20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,
Creation itself is evidence of God’s existence whether people choose to believe it or not. Although in our human condition we are all flawed, we should be pursuing God’s best for our lives and for our children. When we make excuses for our children, we teach them that their behavior is acceptable. While we are to love them unconditionally, we cannot condone behavior that is contrary to the Word of God. My son is very active, strong willed, and determined. These qualities will work out for him in adulthood, but I must teach him right from wrong and how to use those qualities for the glory of God. I get frustrated when he’s not listening. People will say “boys will be boys”, but really that is an excuse. While I believe that gender, birth order, personalities, gifts, and callings all play a part in children’s behavior; they shouldn’t shape the rules of my home. The rules should be shaped by God’s Word, but the way I correct and lead them should (while following the Word of God) match them individually in a way that will be effective.
Proverbs 17:25 (NKJV)
25 A foolish son is a grief to his father,
And bitterness to her who bore him.
Proverbs 29:15-17 (NKJV)
15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
16 When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases;
But the righteous will see their fall.
17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
Yes, he will give delight to your soul.
Disciplining our children brings them wisdom. Their consequence teaches them to respect (fear the Lord). Correction brings peace and order. It teaches them healthy boundaries and gives them the ability to make better choices next time.
Proverbs 19:18(NKJV)
18 Chasten your son while there is hope,
And do not set your heart on his destruction.[a]
Some versions say do not be a willing party to his death. The wages of sin is death. Disobedience is sin. The rules are meant to keep us safe. God’s grace covers us and the blood of Jesus protects us, but we are responsible for our choices and we must choose wisely and teach our children to do the same. Godly correction brings obedience. Obedience brings blessing, peace, and success. As our souls prosper, everything in are lives will also prosper. Our souls prosper by obeying God’s Word!
Luke 14:15-20 (NKJV)
The Parable of the Great Supper
15 Now when one of those who sat at the table with Him heard these things, he said to Him, “Blessed is he who shall eat bread[a] in the kingdom of God!”
16 Then He said to him, “A certain man gave a great supper and invited many,17 and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ 18 But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ 19 And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ 20 Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’
God wants us to eat with Him in His kingdom. He wants our children to eat too! Are we making excuses? Are we keeping our children from the table that was set for them because they are our babies and we aren’t letting them grow up? Are we giving them exemptions from the rules because we think they can’t follow them? It is time to put down the excuses and prepare them to feast! We must train them to push past all obstacles and believe God for the inheritance that He has promised them. Moses, Gideon, Abraham, etc. all had “good excuses” for not wanting to do what God had called them to do. What set them apart was their obedience to do the will of God regardless. We are training up the next generation of leaders. We must teach them to overcome and trust God. When they put their trust in God, they will not be put to shame. There is a set time in their lives when God will say “come, for all things are now ready”. We want them to be prepared with a “yes” and not an excuse!
Father, we thank You for wisdom to raise our children. Forgive us for making excuses for them instead of training them according to Your Word. Show us how to correct them with love and effectiveness. Show us how to come against the enemy’s plan to cause arrested development. We push them forward into their gifts and callings while showing them boundaries and order. Give us creative ways to discipline them to bring them closer to You and the plans that You have for their lives. We declare, no more excuses for us or our children. We intentionally move forward and push past all hindrances. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
John 15:22 (NKJV)
22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.
Have you ever heard the saying “When you know better, you do better” or “You are responsible for what you know”? That’s what this scripture is saying. When Christ dwells in us, we should be actively searching His Word and applying it to our lives. Ignorance isn’t bliss, nor gives us a free pass to sin.
Romans 1:20 (NKJV)
20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,
Creation itself is evidence of God’s existence whether people choose to believe it or not. Although in our human condition we are all flawed, we should be pursuing God’s best for our lives and for our children. When we make excuses for our children, we teach them that their behavior is acceptable. While we are to love them unconditionally, we cannot condone behavior that is contrary to the Word of God. My son is very active, strong willed, and determined. These qualities will work out for him in adulthood, but I must teach him right from wrong and how to use those qualities for the glory of God. I get frustrated when he’s not listening. People will say “boys will be boys”, but really that is an excuse. While I believe that gender, birth order, personalities, gifts, and callings all play a part in children’s behavior; they shouldn’t shape the rules of my home. The rules should be shaped by God’s Word, but the way I correct and lead them should (while following the Word of God) match them individually in a way that will be effective.
Proverbs 17:25 (NKJV)
25 A foolish son is a grief to his father,
And bitterness to her who bore him.
Proverbs 29:15-17 (NKJV)
15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
16 When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increases;
But the righteous will see their fall.
17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
Yes, he will give delight to your soul.
Disciplining our children brings them wisdom. Their consequence teaches them to respect (fear the Lord). Correction brings peace and order. It teaches them healthy boundaries and gives them the ability to make better choices next time.
Proverbs 19:18(NKJV)
18 Chasten your son while there is hope,
And do not set your heart on his destruction.[a]
Some versions say do not be a willing party to his death. The wages of sin is death. Disobedience is sin. The rules are meant to keep us safe. God’s grace covers us and the blood of Jesus protects us, but we are responsible for our choices and we must choose wisely and teach our children to do the same. Godly correction brings obedience. Obedience brings blessing, peace, and success. As our souls prosper, everything in are lives will also prosper. Our souls prosper by obeying God’s Word!
Luke 14:15-20 (NKJV)
The Parable of the Great Supper
15 Now when one of those who sat at the table with Him heard these things, he said to Him, “Blessed is he who shall eat bread[a] in the kingdom of God!”
16 Then He said to him, “A certain man gave a great supper and invited many,17 and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ 18 But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ 19 And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ 20 Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’
God wants us to eat with Him in His kingdom. He wants our children to eat too! Are we making excuses? Are we keeping our children from the table that was set for them because they are our babies and we aren’t letting them grow up? Are we giving them exemptions from the rules because we think they can’t follow them? It is time to put down the excuses and prepare them to feast! We must train them to push past all obstacles and believe God for the inheritance that He has promised them. Moses, Gideon, Abraham, etc. all had “good excuses” for not wanting to do what God had called them to do. What set them apart was their obedience to do the will of God regardless. We are training up the next generation of leaders. We must teach them to overcome and trust God. When they put their trust in God, they will not be put to shame. There is a set time in their lives when God will say “come, for all things are now ready”. We want them to be prepared with a “yes” and not an excuse!
Father, we thank You for wisdom to raise our children. Forgive us for making excuses for them instead of training them according to Your Word. Show us how to correct them with love and effectiveness. Show us how to come against the enemy’s plan to cause arrested development. We push them forward into their gifts and callings while showing them boundaries and order. Give us creative ways to discipline them to bring them closer to You and the plans that You have for their lives. We declare, no more excuses for us or our children. We intentionally move forward and push past all hindrances. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!