Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7 (KJV)
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
Sometimes this has been extremely hard for me. The gifts are given without repentance. God gives us gifts yet before we know how to use them and He doesn’t take them back when we misuse them. Just as now God will allow me to see the hurt places in people’s hearts so that I can effectively pray and prophesy to them, I used to see those places (before salvation) and use my words to cut people and win arguments. We all have an advantage in this area when being married. When we get married, we become one. We are joined on a spiritual level that gives us an advantage of knowing the exact things that can break our spouse. We have to be very careful and wise when expressing ourselves.
Proverbs 29:11 (NKJV)
11 A fool vents all his feelings,[a]But a wise man holds them back.
The key word in this scripture is all. Communication is key, but all of our feelings don’t need to be shared because we don’t always first filter them through God’s Word and His love. Sometimes, it is best to be quiet and pray. Check our own hearts and motives and evaluate why we are feeling a certain way. If we are genuinely hurt by a wrong doing, then it’s okay to go to them in love and let God do the rest, but sometimes there is power in praying and watching God deal with it without us saying a word. Prayer is key. If we are just mad because we didn’t get our way, then we just need to pray and ask God to deal with our own hearts. Our words are important and should be used sparingly. Our words hold great power. If we think of our words like money, would we be wasting them on every fleeting thing or would we be saving them on the things that matter and hold value?
Proverbs 18:20-21 (NKJV)
20 A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth;
From the produce of his lips he shall be filled.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
Our words have the power to change our situation. Do we want to fill ourselves with bitterness and anger coming out of it, or do we want to fill ourselves with joy and love? We can speak life to our marriages. We can speak life to our children. We can speak life to all things around us. Our words are powerful weapons that can change lives, situations, and atmospheres. We need to treat our words like every one of them matters.
Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)
29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
We need to be edifying our spouse. We want to impart grace into their lives. We need to speak the Word of God over them and express our feelings in love.
Father, we thank You for Your Word that gives our marriage instructions to stay strong. Help us continue to seek you for all the answers that we need. Thank You for the gift and weapon of our words. Forgive us for wasting them and not always using them to build, encourage, and impart grace. Help us know when to speak and when to be silent. Help us pray always and filter our emotions through Your Word. Let our words speak life to everything around us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!