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SECRET GARDEN

Time Alone

1/29/2016

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Being married is like two different beautiful tapestries being stitched together to form a creative masterpiece that can cover a bigger sphere than if by itself. Although we are cut from the same cloth (equally yoked). Our edges may be distressed in some areas and need to be mended before stitched in unity to another fabric. If we try to sew the fabric together before it is mended, eventually there will be a whole that will get bigger and bigger over time. Disagreements in our marriage often stems from our unwillingness to listen to the heart of our spouse to get understanding.   We become unwilling because of all the stress from our busy days and the frustrations that come with our responsibilities. We assume that our spouse will agree with every decision and when they don’t our flesh rises up. We must inspect both fabrics to identify the issue. So how do we seal our frayed edges so they won’t unravel into a mess?
 
 
Luke 5:16 (NKJV)
16 So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.
 
Jesus (who was perfect) OFTEN had to get away from everybody to pray! Mostly, He did this after He had spent the entire day in ministry. He only did the work of the Father and achieved each assignment without sin and with victory every time, but yet He still needed to get away. How much more do we need to spend time alone with God to regain strength for more?
 
I remember one time, my husband and I had a disagreement. God shut my mouth. I kept quiet and let God intervene. The next day, he came to me to thank me for leaving him alone without arguing. He needed that time to pray and seek God for understanding. That doesn’t mean that I was right, but it allowed us to both look at the situation peacefully.
 
Just because we are married, that doesn’t mean that we have to spend all of our moments together. We all need to get away from the multitudes at some time. As we search for our new home both of us desire a place to get into solitude. He wants a “man cave” and I want a prayer room, but what we are both really seeking is a place to detox from the world and seal our edges that got frayed from our day so that when we come together we can be perfectly sealed by love.
 
Mark 1:35 (NKJV)
35 Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.
 
 
Matthew 14:23 (NKJV)
23 And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there.
 
 
There is no religious set time to get away. We have to go when we know that we need it! When we feel our frustrations elevating and we are no longer responding in love, then it is time to get away. The important thing is that we pray while we are away and that we don’t stay away for too long. God wants our marriages to have balance. He wants to stitch us beautifully together that when people gaze at the finished work they will only see God’s glorious masterpiece!
 
 
Father, we thank You that our marriage is a glorious masterpiece of Your love. Forgive us for not getting before You to seal the edges of our imperfections with prayer. We want to have a secret place to get before you and abide in Your shadow of protection where there is healing and deliverance. We want to be knitted perfectly in love to our spouse without frays and holes.  Let the Holy Spirit lead us to our place of solitude when we need to get away to seek You. Let our love for one another reflect the love that You have for us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
 
 
Psalm 91:1(NKJV)
Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God
91 
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.


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Receive Wholeness First

1/22/2016

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Covenant and promises go hand and hand when it comes to things in the Kingdom of God. Marriage is one of the only times we publically display our vows before not only God but a room full of witnesses.
 
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 (NKJV)
4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it;
For He has no pleasure in fools.
Pay what you have vowed--
5 Better not to vow than to vow and not pay.

 
Covenant: an agreement, usually formal, between two or more persons to do or not do something specified.
 
Promise: a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc., by one
 
Vow: A solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment
 
Our relationship with God is a covenant. Our relationship with our spouse is a covenant. We make our marriage vows before God and man to stick together for richer or poorer, better or worse, in sickness and in health, and etc. We then make promises throughout our marriage to do the little things, like come home on time, take out the garbage, take the kids to their activities, and so on. God always keeps His promises because He cannot lie, but unfortunately this is not true with man. We break covenant, vows, and promises. We get into covenants that God never intended because we enter into them based on our flesh and emotion instead of wisdom and understanding.
 
Ecclesiastes 5:2 (NKJV)
2 Do not be rash with your mouth,
And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.
For God is in heaven, and you on earth;
Therefore let your words be few.

 
 
We shouldn’t make vows unless we KNOW that God has ordained them. It is frustrating, painful, and nearly impossible to keep covenant if we don’t understand the love of God. God’s love is unconditional. There is nothing that can separate us from His love. He loved us when we were yet sinners and continues to love us when we make mistakes. This is not an excuse to sin because sin leads to death, but we can know that as long as we have breath to repent, there is an opportunity to get it right. God honors marriage and wants us to love unconditionally. Our flesh and carnal opinions often keep us from this type of love. I am not condoning divorce. I believe every effort should be made to keep covenant. I believe prayer works and God can change the heart of man.  I also know that God still loves me although I’ve been divorced. I made a covenant knowing I shouldn’t, realizing it wouldn’t work, but doing what seemed “right” according to the world. I didn’t love myself because I didn’t yet know the love of God. I tried to make it work, but couldn’t change the free will of another man or make a person submit to God. God forgives and He restores. He can make a miracle of change in marriage and also can make a way of escape. Relationships are never easy, but as believers in Christ and heirs to God’s promises, it is our responsibility to exhaust every resource to make our marriages work. I was broken in my first marriage and didn’t understand the importance of being whole. I thought marriage was the answer. Jesus is the answer. It is so important to have an identity found in Christ and know the wholeness that comes from the full power of the cross. Two broken people together will create a broken covenant. Two people that know the unconditional love of God that makes them whole will create a covenant that will last.  If you are single know that entering into a covenant is a serious thing not to be taken lightly and led by lust. If you are divorced God forgives and restores. If you are married God also forgives and restores. If you are having issues in your marriage, I encourage you to take a look at yourself. Evaluate any broken areas. Ask God to show you in His Word how to receive wholeness. Cry out to know His unconditional love and pray for deliverance. Pray for your spouse to receive the wholeness of God’s unconditional love. Seek God’s will. Get wise counsel. God takes vows seriously and we should also. God is concerned about every situation. He has an answer for everyone that is unique to their circumstance. Knowing God’s will is knowing His Word, seeking His face, and receiving peace. Your relationship with God is a personal covenant and He will give you peace to know how to handle every situation. He wants you to be whole and prosper in every area of your life. He wants you to have joy and be an example for the kingdom. He wants every area of your life to give Him glory. This includes your marriage. Take time in God’s presence today and ask Him to show you where you are at and where He wants you to go. Instead of blaming and criticizing your spouse, ask God to search your heart. God loves you and He wants you to have His best!
 
 
Father, we thank You for grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Forgive us for not loving how You love and doing things outside of Your will. Direct our steps and teach us how to love unconditionally. Show us every broken place so that we may receive Your healing. We want to be made complete in You. We want our marriage to give You glory and honor the vows that we have made. Lead us in the paths of righteousness. Give us wisdom and strategy in prayer. Give us wisdom and understanding in every situation, even when it doesn’t come out the way that we want. Help us not do things according to our own will, but seek Your will in every situation. Help us keep our promises and not make vows that we cannot keep. We surrender ourselves and our marriages to You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
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Don't Speak Until He Eats

1/15/2016

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When I was growing up I remember my mother use to always tell me not to ever ask a man anything on an empty stomach. While this seems comical or even as an old wives tale, there is a strategy that worked in her house. When my Dad was hungry, he was grumpy and irritated. When his belly was full he was relaxed and pleasant. I believe that he enjoyed the family interaction of dinner time and the food comforted him after a stressful day of work. He was more likely to respond positively after he ate!
 

​Ecclesiastes 3:1,…7 (NKJV)
Everything Has Its Time
3 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

7 ………….. A time to keep silence,
    And a time to speak;

 

While this might not be true with every man, my mother understood that the best time to speak to her husband was after dinner. She was operating with an Issachar anointing (1 Chronicles 12:32) to know and understand the seasons of her home. She was strategic in how she dealt with my father because much of the time he was short tempered and lacked patience. She didn’t say much, but when her opportunity came, she presented what was at hand. I don’t know how long it took her to master her strategy (they were married for 53 years before she passed), but she found what worked. In our own marriages there are times and seasons that we need to be strategic about how we handle what is before us. Even when we know by our Holy Spirit what to do, we have to seek God for His timing and pray for agreement. Peter explains how important it is for wives to not only make themselves beautiful on the outside but to be beautiful in their hearts with a quiet, gentle spirit. He says this type of beauty is incorruptible!  
 
1 Peter 3:4 (NKJV)
4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
 

A quiet, gentle spirit sounds like a spirit of Peace! We obtain peace by trusting God and seeking His understanding in all things. This will help us know the times and the seasons!
 

Philippians 4:5-7New King James Version (NKJV)
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
 

God wants us to have peace in everything, including our marriages! Our hearts and minds will be guarded with peace and the Lord’s hand will stay on it. Peter also talks about husbands living with understanding of their wives. When he understands her and places honor on her, their marriage is full of grace and nothing will hinder their prayers! When we understand each other grace and peace fills our homes.
 

1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)
A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
 

This does not come without work. We have to study each other to gain understanding. When we pray for wisdom, God will surely give it. It is time to evaluate our marriages. What areas are we experiencing frustration? Do we know the patterns of our spouse? Do we know when to speak and when to keep silent? Are we praying or complaining?  Are we ignoring areas instead of addressing them? This is a group effort. We are heirs together in the grace of life because we are one flesh. We are a team that wins together or loses together. There is no separation. Agreement is necessary and the will of God for our lives. Peace, grace and ultimately the joy of the Lord will strengthen our marriages and we will know and understand whatever season that we are in.
 

Father we thank You for the Wisdom of Your Word. We ask You for the anointing to know and understand the seasons and timing of our marriages. Forgive us for not studying our spouse. Forgive us for complaining instead of praying for strategy. Lord, we want to know when to speak and when to keep silent. Show us how to be gentle and quiet. Give us grace and peace in our homes. Let our prayers not be hindered. We want to be beautiful from the inside out. We want our marriages to give You glory. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
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It Is Good

1/8/2016

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I know several women who are unmarried and believing God to send them a husband. They are woman who have kept themselves and are fully committed to being about their Father’s business. I also believe God will give them the desires of their heart because they delight themselves in Him. God did it for me and will surely do it for them also. I was talking to one of my unmarried friends and although she is believing God for a husband, she is also concerned that it would be hard to live with another grown person. She has been content in her season and has learned to embrace her singleness. She doesn’t have to answer to anybody (except for God). She has complete freedom to create systems, patterns, habits, etc. in her life that work for her and give her peace. She is not sure that she could tolerate someone else’s habits and doesn’t want to be distracted from her purpose.


1 Corinthians 7:34-35 (NKJV)
34 There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.


​When I was single I use to do all kinds of “crazy (to the world)” things because the Holy Spirit led me. I have given away expensive jewelry, gave EVERYTHING that I had in offering, picked people up off the street, etc. By no means am I boasting, but being married limits how I’m being led. I can’t do something extreme without consulting my husband first, especially if it affects the entire household. I would be out of order if I didn’t give him a choice/chance to agree.
 
Amos 3:3 (NKJV)
3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?


I would be giving the enemy a foothold to come against our unity. This frustrated me in the beginning, but what I have found is that if God is telling me to do it, then He is already working on the heart of my husband and vice versa. We both love God and want our steps to be ordered by Him. In Genesis God said it was not good for man to be alone so He gave Adam a wife. God designed us to help one another, balance each other, and have accountability. We can encourage each other and also help adjust each other when things are off. Annoying habits and personality quirks are only an issue when something else is off balance. I only hear my husband chew when I am frustrated with something else (my issue not his, lol)! It is important to not let the little foxes spoil the vine (Song Of Solomon 2:15). The little things usually only build up if there is a bigger issue at root. My husband works a lot and I am always home with the kids. This is our season and we both agreed to it, but if we don’t sometimes take a break for ourselves and with each other, everything else becomes aggravating. When God sends a husband, the way he puts the toilet paper on the roll isn’t going to bother you until you are mad about something else! He is going to love you like Christ loves the church and all that petty stuff will be invisible.  If God has called you to be married then He has called your marriage to be good! He isn’t going to send you someone who will keep you from your purpose or cause you to be bitter. God takes pleasure in prospering all the areas of your life. So to the unmarried I say “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. Don’t let petty concerns keep God from blessing you with a spouse if you desire to be married. Let God start preparing you now. Let him show you areas that He wants to polish. Let Him renew your mind and calibrate your heart to receive your king! To the married I also say “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. If the “little” things are frustrating you, then step back and evaluate the bigger issue. Take time to break to receive refreshing. MAKE time to reconnect from the busyness to affirm each other’s love and respect for one another. Marriage is good! Don’t let the circumstances of one season define the climate for the rest of your lives! Push past the now and see the bigger picture. God has purpose and greatness for your marriage. It’s time to reboot and reactivate your passion.
 

​Father we thank you that you give us the desires of our heart when we delight ourselves in You. Whether we are now single or married, we desire strong, healthy marriages that walk in agreement and give You glory. Forgive us for making a big deal about nothing without addressing the real issues. Help us carve out time to reconnect with each other and with ourselves before You. Make us whole and prepare us for the greatness that You have called us to. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!
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    Bonnie Kay Rimpson

    God has truly restored me after having a torn soul from broken relationships and even a divorce. After receiving Jesus as my Savior, God took me through a process of knowing my identity and loving myself so that I may love others. Now I am happily married to a man after God's own heart, who loves me with the love of God.

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