Before I got remarried, God brought me through the grueling process of deliverance. I was broken mentally and emotionally. I felt like a failure and my identity was marked by lies of the enemy. Deliverance is not an easy thing. It forces you to look at yourself, your sins, your flaws, and your thought systems and surrender them to God. Then you must take action to renew your mind with God’s Word and guard your deliverance with prayer, new choices, and obedience. Only God can restore and fill those broken places with His love. Only God can cause you to forgive what seems to be unforgiveable, and only God can make you realize the part that you played in the whole mess.
It is so important to get whole before entertaining the thoughts of another relationship. It is equally important to seek God in the healing of your children. At the time of my marriage, my children were ready to receive a man of God in their lives. They decided on their own to call my husband Daddy. My husband always has taken care, treated, and embraced them as his own. Shortly after we got married, their biological father started to resurface into their lives. This caused many emotions and feelings of confusion of what a father really is.
My children have continually faced disappointments from their biological father. My answer to them is always “pray for him, without Jesus, he cannot make good choices”. They are now old enough to see the truth. They are in their teenage years and are in the struggle of finding their own identity and purpose. While this is a beautiful thing, it is also a hard thing as I watch them struggle through the emotions of everything that they have faced. Prayer, communication, and the raw truth (in love) is what will push them forward.
Although my husband has been everything that they need as a father, they have a desire to have a meaningful relationship with their biological father. As much as I encourage that to happen, I can’t make him be what they want from him. The tensions, disrespect, and outbursts sometimes get very real. Teenagers will test your salvation to the very limit! But despite of all the issues at hand, unconditional love and provision has been the answer.
Just as God has adopted us as sons by Jesus Christ and accepted us into the beloved, so must the blended family be. God could have rejected us in our own sin and lustful desires, but instead He calls us His children. He helps us pasts our hurts and restores our souls. We don’t get fixed all at once. He takes us through a process and we receive healing on our journey. Just as God is patient and gentle with us, we must also be with our children. They tend not to get it right away. (How many times do you run into a brick wall before you decide to do it God’s way?) It is God’s grace that we are accepted and by His grace our children will know that they are accepted also.
4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
I want to encourage those with blended families not to give up hope or give in to the division of the enemy. Keep praying, warring, and speaking life over the souls of your household. God has a testimony of acceptance, forgiveness, restoration, unconditional love, and ultimately victory for your family. The enemy would love to break your relationship up with your spouse, children and even God. Make a decision today to stand on God’s Word and trust that He is working it out!
Father, we thank You for the spirit of adoption that has given us access to You as our Father. Come into our homes and bond us even as blended families as one accepted into the beloved. Forgive us for getting frustrated and wanting to give up. Let unconditional love and the truth of Jesus Christ be the foundation of our homes as we lay our families down as a sacrifice to you. Show us how to pray and respond in every situation. Help us see from the perspective of our children’s hurt so that we may better guide them into deliverance and ultimately their purpose. Help us stay united as husband and wife in defeating the enemy that would try to come in and steal our peace and joy. Our families belong to you. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen!